BUHAY PAMILYA

Anak: Ma, hingi sana ako ng P50.

Son: Ma, can I have $50?

Nanay: P40? Ang laki naman ng P30! Anong gagawin mo sa P20? Akala mo madaling kumita ng P10? O, eto P5.

Mother: $40? $30 is too big! What you will do with $20? You think it is easy to earn $10? Ok, here's $5.

--o0o --

1st night lola (grandma) wore see thru dress, lolo (grandpa)didn't react...

2nd night lola (grandma) wore t-back, lolo (grandpa) still deadma...

3rd night lola (Grandma) all naked, lolo (grandpa) said "anu yan suot mo, gusot-gusot!!" (what's that you are wearing? It's wrinkled!)

--o0o--

Juan: bday ng asawa ko. (John: It's my wife's birthday.)

Pedro: ano regalo mo? (Peter: What's your gift?)

Juan: tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya. (John: I asked her what she wants)

P: ano naman sinabi? (Peter: What she said?)

J: Kahit ano basta may DIAMOND. (John: Anything but with DIAMOND.)

P: ano binigay mo? (Peter: What did you give her?)

J: Baraha. (John: A deck of card.)

--o0o--

Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na to, let's make love.

Wife: Love, my life is ending. It's my last night, let's make love.

Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising bukas, buti ikaw hindi na!

Husband: Shh! Stop it. I have to wake up early. Lucky you, you won't!

Jokes for Mothers

MOTHER IN-LAW

Pedro: Saan ka galing, p're? (Where have you been, 'bro?)Berto: Sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko. ( In the cemetery. It's the burial of my mother in-law!)

Pedro: Bakit puro kalmot ang mukha at braso mo? (Why the bruises in your arms and face?)

Berto: Mahirap ilibing eh, lumalaban! (She's very hard to bury, 'bro. She kept on fighting me!)

**********************************

MOTHER SUPERIOR

Mother superior: Hala, layas dito sa kumbento! (Go, leave this convent at once!)

Madre: Bakit po? Dahil po ba sa paggamit ko ng vibrator? ( Why? Is it because I'm using a vibrator?)

Mother superior: Hindi, ayoko lang may nakikiaalam sa gamit ko! (No, it's just that I don't want anybody messing with my things!)

****************************************

MOTHER & SON


Nanay: Hala, sige, layas! Huwag ka nang bumalik dito sa bahay! Simula ngayon, huwag mo na akong tawaging nanay at hindi na rin kita tatawaging anak, naintindihan mo?
(Mother: Ok, leave! Don't ever come back to this house. From now on, don't call me your mother and I won't call you my son, understand?)

Anak: Sige dude, alis na ako. (S0n: Ok, dude, I'm going.)