2 Jokes for Father

MACHO si FATHER

Lady: Father, ang gwapo at cute mo naman! Bakit ka pa kasi nagpari? (Gosh Father, you are cute and handsome! Why did you become a priest?)

Priest: Dahil ayaw pumayag ng magulang ko na magmadre ako! Bruha! ( Because my parents did not want me to become a nun! You witch!)

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FOLLOW THE LEADER

Sa prusisyon. ( In a church procession)

Pari: Ang mga boys, sunod sa karo ni San Jose , mga girls, sa karo ni Mama Mary.

Priest: Boys, follow the float of St. Joseph.... girls , to Mother Mary's.

Bakla: Kami father, saan kami susunod?

Gay: Father, whom shall we follow?

Pari: Mga bruha! Follow me!

Priest: You Witches! Follow me!

JOKES ONLY

WHO OWNS THIS CAR? (No offense to Visayans)

Bisaya 1: " Gara ng kutsi, siguro kay Miyur
iyan!" ( Beautiful car, maybe it's Mayor's!)

Bisaya 2: " Dili bay!" (No, It's not!)

Bisaya 1: " Kay Hipi?" ( It's Chief's!) (chief of police))

Bisaya 2: " Tuntu ka man. Kay FATHER iyan. Gisulat niya sa likud o,
"'SAFARI'." ( You are stupid. It's Father's (the priest). He wrote at the back, " SAFARI") (Sa means For; Fari as in Pari means Priest)



RADIO APPEAL


Misis: " Sir, mananawagan po
sana ako sa mister ko kasi
dinala niya ang limang anak namin." ( Sir, I want to have a radio appeal beacuse my husband took away our five children.)
Radio Host: " Ok, go ahead!"

Misis: " Honey, ibalik mo na ang mga bata, isa lang naman ang sa iyo
diyan!" (Honey, bring back the children, only one of them is yours!)

PAST TENSE

Hello! Heto na naman ako. Gulung-gulo ulit ang isip ko. May nais lang
sana akong itanong sa
inyo. Alam ko matutulungan niyo ako. Ang BIRDS FLU ba ay past tense ng
BIRDS FLY? (Hello, I'm here again. My mind is again confused. I want to know if BIRDS FLU is the past tense of BIRDS FLY?)


WITH THE SOUND



Nakasakay ka sa FX, ng ikaw ay mautot. Buti na lang malakas ang tugtog.
Bawat
pag-utot, sabay sa tugtog. Nang ikaw ay bumaba, ang sasama ng tingin nila
sa
iyo, bigla mong naalala...naka-Walkman ka pala! ( You are riding on an FX when you farted. It's good that the music is loud. When you farts, the music goes with it. When you alighted, the other passengers looked strangely and disgusted at you. Then you remember, you are wearing a WALKMAN)