Ama: Bakit ka umiiyak?
Father: Why are you crying?
Anak: Pumasa po kasi ako sa test. Huhuhu!
Daughter: I passed the test. Hu-hu-hu!
Ama: Aba , magaling! Anong subject yun, anak?
Father: Very good! What is that subject, my daughter?
nak: Pregnancy test po itay!
Daughter: Pregnancy test, Dad!
GOOD MANNERS AND RIGHT CONDUCT (GMRC)
Anak: Inay, ang galing ng titser ko.
Son: Mom, my teacher is good.
Inay: Bakit naman?
Mother: Why?
Anak: Tinuruan kami ng kagandahang asal.
Son: She taught us good manners.
Nanay: Eh di marunong ka nang gumalang at magpo at opo?
Mother: So you know how to be respectful and say "po" and "opo"?
Anak: Natural! Tanga ka ba?
Son: Naturally! Are you insane?
SLOW LEARNER
Boy1: Bakit mo ako sinuntok?
Child 1: Why did you punch me?
Boy2: Tinawag mo akong hipopotamus!
Child 2: Because you called me a hippopotamus?
Boy1: Last year pa yon! Tarantado!
Child 1: That was last year, stupid!
Boy2: Eh kanina ko lang nakita picture ng hippopotamus, bobo!
Child 2: I just saw the picture of a hippopotamus a while ago, you moron!
INTELLIGENT MAID
Hindi makapagtimpla ng juice si Inday. Tahimik lang syang nakatitig sa bote ng juice. Dahil nakasulat: Concentrate.
Inday cannot prepare the fruit juice. She is very quiet staring only at the bottle. Written on it: Concentrate.