Joke # 1
Sweethearts watchin' the sky...
GUY: ano ang horoscope mo? (What is your horoscope?)
GIRL: anong huruskup? (What is horoscope?)
GUY: yung bang kapalaran mo, katulad ko, CANCER. (It's your fate, like me, CANCER.)
GIRL: ah, sa akin ALMURANAS! ( Ah, for me it's HEMORRHOID!)
Joke # 2
TEACHER: who can make a sentence then translate it in tagalog?
PUPIL: my titser is beautiful, isn't she?
TEACHER: very good, translate it in tagalog.
PUPIL: ang guro ko ay maganda, maganda nga ba? (My teacher is beautiful, is she really?)
Joke # 3
DONYA: bilang bagong katulong, tandaan mo na ang almusal dito ay alasais empuntu! ( As a new maid, remember that breakfast here is six o'clock sharp!)
MAID: walang problema donya. kung tulog pa ako sa oras na yun, mauna nakayong mag-almusal! (No problem, Ma'am. If I am still sleeping at that time, you can go ahead and eat your breakfast!)
Joke # 4
SAYINGS TO LIVE BY:
1. birds of the same feather, are the same birds.
2. do not do unto others what you can't do.
3. an apple a day is not an apple at night.
4. when the cat is away the mouse is alone.
5. if others can do it, don't help.
6. tell me who ur friends are and i'll tell u mine.
7. early to bed and early to rise makes you sleepy in the afternoon.
8. ang ilog na tahimik ay malalim, ang ilog na maingay...may naglalaba. ( A quiet river is deep, a noisy river .... somebody is washing clothes.)
Joke # 5
Prospective Employer to Applicant: " So why did you leave your previous job?"
Applicant: " The company relocated and they did not tell me where!"
Sweethearts watchin' the sky...
GUY: ano ang horoscope mo? (What is your horoscope?)
GIRL: anong huruskup? (What is horoscope?)
GUY: yung bang kapalaran mo, katulad ko, CANCER. (It's your fate, like me, CANCER.)
GIRL: ah, sa akin ALMURANAS! ( Ah, for me it's HEMORRHOID!)
Joke # 2
TEACHER: who can make a sentence then translate it in tagalog?
PUPIL: my titser is beautiful, isn't she?
TEACHER: very good, translate it in tagalog.
PUPIL: ang guro ko ay maganda, maganda nga ba? (My teacher is beautiful, is she really?)
Joke # 3
DONYA: bilang bagong katulong, tandaan mo na ang almusal dito ay alasais empuntu! ( As a new maid, remember that breakfast here is six o'clock sharp!)
MAID: walang problema donya. kung tulog pa ako sa oras na yun, mauna nakayong mag-almusal! (No problem, Ma'am. If I am still sleeping at that time, you can go ahead and eat your breakfast!)
Joke # 4
SAYINGS TO LIVE BY:
1. birds of the same feather, are the same birds.
2. do not do unto others what you can't do.
3. an apple a day is not an apple at night.
4. when the cat is away the mouse is alone.
5. if others can do it, don't help.
6. tell me who ur friends are and i'll tell u mine.
7. early to bed and early to rise makes you sleepy in the afternoon.
8. ang ilog na tahimik ay malalim, ang ilog na maingay...may naglalaba. ( A quiet river is deep, a noisy river .... somebody is washing clothes.)
Joke # 5
Prospective Employer to Applicant: " So why did you leave your previous job?"
Applicant: " The company relocated and they did not tell me where!"
