Babae: Bigyan mo ako ng tatlo. (Lady: Give me three.)3 months later, galit si babae: Bakit ako nabuntis? (Three months later, the lady is angry: Why I get pregnant?)
Intsik: Baka hinubad mo! (Chinese: You probably took it off!)
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IT'S NOT YOU!
GF: Hayop ka, niloloko mo ako! (Girlfriend: F...., you're fooling me!)
BF: Bakit, wala naman akong ginagawa ah! (Boyfriend: Why, I did not do anything wrong!)
GF: Anong wala? Nakita kita kanina, may kasama kang ibang babae,magkahawak pa kamay nyo! Niloloko mo ako. (GF: Nothing? A while ago, I saw you with this girl, holding hands. You're fooling me!)
BF: Makinig ka muna... hindi kita niloloko, maniwala ka... Yung kasama ko kanina ang niloloko ko! (BF: Listen for a while... I am not fooling you, believe me... It's that girl that I am fooling!)
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TOOTHLESS SOLDIER
Ifugao: Apply po ako ng sundalo, sir. ( I want to be a soldier, sir.)
Officer: Hindi ka pwede, ang dami mong sirang ngipin, bungi ka pa! ( You can't be, you have broken teeth. You have lost teeth, too!)
Ifugao: Bakit sir, sa gyera ba ngayon, kagatan na ang labanan? (Why, sir? In battle , are we going to bite each other?)
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INTERPRETATION
A lizard fell on a table.
Genius: Oh! reptila scincidae.
Kikay: Eew, lizard!
Astig: Shit, butiki! (Macho man:)
Mataray: Shucks, butiks! (Socialite:)
Mayaman: Yuck! Lacoste! (Rich man:)
Mahirap: Pare, ulam! (Poor man: Food, man!)
