Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The Filipino Greeter at WALMART


Read how the Filipino got his job:



An office manager was given the task to hire someone to fill a job opening - a greeter. He decided to interview four people: an American, a Russian, an Australian, and a Filipino, named Eleuterio.He called the four in and asks them only one question. Their answer would decide who gets the job. As the four sat around the conference table, the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know?"

The American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops intoyour head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A THOUGHTis the fastest thing I know." "That's very good!" said the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked the Russian. "Hmm.... let me see. A Blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know.""Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed. "He then turned to the Australian who was contemplating his reply ."Well, out at my dad's ranch, on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture, the light in the barn comes on. Yep,TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he thought.

Turning to Eleuterio, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.The Pinoy replied, "Apter hering da 3 preybyus ansers, sir, et's obyus to medat the pastest thing is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling on their seats..."Oh, I can expleyn, sir," said Eleuterio. "You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the CR, but before I could THINK, BLINK,or TURN ON DA LIGHT, 'tang ina, sir, I had alreydi shit in my pants!"

Eleuterio is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

TUMAWA TAYO

DOCTOR & PATIENT
ADIK: Doc, grabe yung panaginip ko gabi-gabi, kasi lagi daw ako naunuod ngbasketball. ( Doc, I have a bad dream every night, as if I am always watching basketball.)
DOCTOR: sige halika may gamot ako para dyan. (Okay, come here. I have medicine for that.)ADIK: Wag muna dok, championship game na mamaya eh! ( Not now, doc. It's championship tonight!)

MA'AM & MAID
AMO: Kelan lang tayo bumili ng toothpick, bakit naubos agad? ( We just bought toothpicks why they are gone now?)
MAID: Ewan ko po mam, kapag ako po ang gumamit sinosoli ko naman ah! (I don't know Ma'am because whenever I use it, I always return it!)

TEACHER & PUPIL
TITSER: Ano ang PAST TENSE sa LABA?
BOY#1: Naglaba mam!
TITSER: Tama! Ano ang PRESENT TENSE?
BOY#2: Naglalaba!
TITSER: Tama! Ano naman ang FUTURE TENSE?
BOY#3: MAGSASAMPAY mam!

LITERAL TRANSLATION
AMERICAN ENGLISH: Eat All You Can, don't be shy, feel at home!
IN TAGALOG:Kain lang kayo ng kain, walanghiya kayo, pakiramdamnyo bahay nyo to!

Monday, July 14, 2008

2 Jokes for Father

MACHO si FATHER

Lady: Father, ang gwapo at cute mo naman! Bakit ka pa kasi nagpari? (Gosh Father, you are cute and handsome! Why did you become a priest?)
Priest: Dahil ayaw pumayag ng magulang ko na magmadre ako! Bruha! ( Because my parents did not want me to become a nun! You witch!)

*********************************************************

FOLLOW THE LEADER


Sa prusisyon. ( In a church procession)

Pari: Ang mga boys, sunod sa karo ni San Jose , mga girls, sa karo ni Mama Mary.
Priest: Boys, follow the float of St. Joseph.... girls , to Mother Mary's.

Bakla: Kami father, saan kami susunod?
Gay: Father, whom shall we follow?

Pari: Mga bruha! Follow me!
Priest: You Witches! Follow me!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

FUNNY PHOTOS


(Click image to enlarge)

Here are some of the photos I downloaded from the net and put funny dialogues. I you have interesting photos that you would like me to put funny dialoques, just send them to me.

Sana ay matawa kayo.

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