Jokes for Mothers

MOTHER IN-LAW

Pedro: Saan ka galing, p're? (Where have you been, 'bro?)Berto: Sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko. ( In the cemetery. It's the burial of my mother in-law!)

Pedro: Bakit puro kalmot ang mukha at braso mo? (Why the bruises in your arms and face?)

Berto: Mahirap ilibing eh, lumalaban! (She's very hard to bury, 'bro. She kept on fighting me!)

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MOTHER SUPERIOR

Mother superior: Hala, layas dito sa kumbento! (Go, leave this convent at once!)

Madre: Bakit po? Dahil po ba sa paggamit ko ng vibrator? ( Why? Is it because I'm using a vibrator?)

Mother superior: Hindi, ayoko lang may nakikiaalam sa gamit ko! (No, it's just that I don't want anybody messing with my things!)

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MOTHER & SON


Nanay: Hala, sige, layas! Huwag ka nang bumalik dito sa bahay! Simula ngayon, huwag mo na akong tawaging nanay at hindi na rin kita tatawaging anak, naintindihan mo?
(Mother: Ok, leave! Don't ever come back to this house. From now on, don't call me your mother and I won't call you my son, understand?)

Anak: Sige dude, alis na ako. (S0n: Ok, dude, I'm going.)

Jokes for Today

MOTHER IN-LAW

Pedro: Saan ka galing, p're? (Where did you come from, 'Bro?)

Berto: Sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko. (From the cemetery. It's my mother in-laws' burial!)

Pedro: Bakit puro kalmot ang mukha at braso mo? (Why is it that your face and arms are full of bruises?)

Berto: Mahirap ilibing eh, lumalaban! (it's very hard to bury her. She's fighting me!)

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Bakit "S" ang nasa costume ni Superman? ( Why "S" is on Superman's costume?)

Wala na kasing medium! Napansin mo, fit masyado, di ba? (There's no more Medium. Did you notice, it's tightly fit, isn't it?)

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Mother superior: Hala, layas dito sa kumbento! ( Go, leave this convent at once!)

Madre: Bakit po? Dahil po ba sa paggamit ko ng vibrator? (Why? Is it because I used a vibrator?)

Mother superior: Hindi, ayoko lang may nakikiaalam sa gamit ko! (No. I just don't want anybody using my things!)

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Nanay: Hala, sige, layas! Huwag ka nang bumalik dito sa bahay! Simula ngayon, huwag mo na akong tawaging nanay at hindi na rin kita tatawaging anak, naintindihan mo?

(Mother: Go! Don't ever come back to this house! From now on, don't call me your mother and I will no longer call you my child! Do you understand?)

Anak: Sige dude, alis na ako.

(Child: Okay dude, I'm going.)